Category Archives: Lewis Crusade

Please help us get a new van.

In 2008, I got my first motorized wheelchair, and we were blessed with an opportunity to buy a twice used 2000 Chevrolet Express 3500 wheelchair van, which was first a prison van and then a medical taxi (I call it our “Paddy Wagon,” since the expression came from stereotypical Irish cops collecting groups of stereotypical Irish drunks in police vans).
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The van has served us well for almost 9 years as our primary vehicle.  “We’ve” had to put some money into it to keep it going, but when it all adds up, it was less than we’d have paid even for a regular van in payments, much less for a handicapped van that can fit our family.

Me and kids at Roper

Me and my kids in 2013, after my aortic graft surgery

Our economic situation simple: we make a little less than enough to get by in modern America.  Unless I should obtain the time and inspiration to write a best-selling book, we strike the lottery or get a really good  investment, we’ll never make much more than we do now.
So when a major expense arises, we need help.
Every few months, something malfunctions in the van.
We had to purchase a second vehicle, using up the small amount of room we had in our budget to add another monthly payment, so we only have to use the van when we need the power chair and so we have a backup when it fails.  The very day we went to pick up the “new” car, the lift stopped working.  When my abdominal aneurysm ruptures or requires surgery, if I survive, I will most likely lose my ability to walk completely.  In the meantime, I need to be able to keep strain off my aorta to delay that surgery as long as possible.
It won’t be long before our eldest daughter has to use a scooter or power chair–technically she already should because she subluxes her ankles every time she walks very far, but we can’t get insurance to pay for one.
As communities, Muslims, Mormons and Evangelicals seem to be very good at rallying around their members.  We Catholics, as a community, need to show the same generosity with ourselves as we do with strangers, to provide the “safety net” that keeps people from falling completely into destitution.  On an individual basis, we have many wonderful Catholic friends who have helped us more than we can ever thank them for.  We know someone out there can afford to help us.
We’re hoping to get a used, 2015 or 2016 Ford Transit Wagon XLT 350, medium height, for around $25,000.  I figure we can modify it ourselves for around $3000-5000.
So accounting for fundraising fees, taxes, etc., we’re trying to raise about $30,000-35000 just for that, though if a generous benefactor wants to help with about $80000 in other expenses we expect to face in the near future, we’d be very grateful.  If someone out there reading this happens to own a car dealership or know a car dealer (I recently heard a rumor that a major Catholic donor in our state owns a dealership), I’m going to be bold and ask if, in the name of Our Lord, you could please donate a van directly?
Please share this post. Please share the link to our fundraiser.  Most of all, please pray that God opens people’s hearts to share, and that He profoundly blesses all those who have helped us.

Please click here to donate.

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On Cult and Culture

The problem with “Culture Wars” is we don’t know what culture *is*.  If we truly want to win back souls to God and the Natural Law, we must do it through redeeming the culture itself.

Chesterton says that the history of Western civilization is a conflict between three worldviews: the Greco-Roman, Judeo-Christian and atheistic-nihilistic. He illustrates this with a parable of a people on an island who worship the sun. They build a round, mathematically perfect, temple. Over time, they come to understand God as transcendent of Nature and nature as corrupt, dangerous and not quite so perfect as they previously thought. So they add a spire to their temple, pointing to the sky, and gargoyles to the outside to show that the world is dark and scary but there is hope in Heaven. Over time, they lose their faith in God completely and create a temple of complete grotesque to demonstrate it: they take away the spire and replace all the gods and saints with more gargoyles.

Chesterton saw 100 years ago what the Twentieth Century was producing and has produced in spades since.

These threads can be seen in smaller amounts in each major historical period and each particular Western civilization’s history.  Generally, though, the Greeks and Romans produced art and literature which saw both nature and the gods as orderly and beautiful.  Their dramas reflected the need to return to order when civil order was disrupted.

The so-called “Dark Ages” produced literature, art, music and architecture focused entirely on God, and human beings who were flawed in an immoral world.  This was the period of Gothic architecture: terrifying and imposing on the outside; uplifting and glorious inside.

The Renaissance saw a general return to the classical worldview.  The visual arts became less stylized by the rules of iconography and more stylized by a desire to reflect human perfection as understood by the ancients.  Music was made a bit more complicated than the simple, utilitarian chant of the Middle Ages, reflecting the Classical understanding of music as a form of mathematics.  Architecture was not directly classical per se but some Greek aspects were returned to architecture.  The greatest Renaissance writers drew from classical mythology or the rules of classical drama.

Then the 17th century brought a Puritan flair to the visual arts, while music focused on God.  Thus, Bach could say everything he wrote was a prayer–because even instrumental music was understood to express a code that, like a Gothic cathedral, raised the soul up towards God.

The 18th century saw the period we call “classical” or neo-Classical: architecture that was mathematical and balanced, per Greek principles as then understood.  The visual arts, like those of the Renaissance, evoked classical norms.  Pagan imagery began to be revisited.  Music was more strongly mathematical and less otherworldly.

Then came the period we call Romantic.  Interestingly, C. S. Lewis considered Jane Austen as the last truly Western author.   The Romantic (i.e., “of Rome”) period in Protestant Europe involved a quest for the “past,” but it was a blend of the “Past” of paganism as well as the “past” as well as a fascination with Catholicism and the purported tendency of people in “Romance” (i.e., Latinate) countries to engage in lots of adultery and fornication, lending to the terms “Romance” and “Romantic” becoming associated with affairs of the heart rather than a group of cultures.  Interestingly, this is the same time the term “Latin America” was coined as a way to unite French, Spanish and Portuguese colonies against the new United States and the remaining British colonies.
Literature evoked the beauty of nature as well as the quest for God.  It also evoked a fascination with the creepy old buildings, the mysterious Catholic past (now thoroughly ensconced in the Protestant imagination as a form of pagan witchcraft, masquerading as “Christianity”) and thus gave us the term “Gothic” as no longer meaning a style of religious art and architecture coming from Germany but now a form of “Romance” focusing on the grotesque and even macabre.

After the Romantic period there was a general shift towards nihilism, which is what Lewis gets at in “De Descriptione Temporum” when he says the above about Austen.  Someone once said that “music died with Nietzsche’s God.”

Romanticism gave way to “Realism,” which still had a bit of the Gothic hope in its negative portrayal of life, but that quickly gave way to the gargoyles of “Naturalism” in art and literature.  Music came to be atonal and discordant.

This is why simple worldliness of much “contemporary” music, like that of modern art and architecture, is ill-fitting the grandeur of God.  Though the attempt to redeem the modern world has its place, slapping “God” and “morality” onto otherwise postmodern literature and music is like Chesterton’s islanders, after burying their temple in gargoyles, saints and angels on top of the gargoyles rather than getting rid of the gargoyles.

The Proper Weight of Man

January 15, 2000, at about 9 PM at the now-closed Steak & Ale on Forrest Dr. in Columbia, SC, I proposed marriage by reading this passage:

“The weight of these golden rings”, he said, “is not the weight of metal, but the proper weight of man, each of you separately and both together. Ah, man’s own weight, the proper weight of man! Can it be at once heavier, and more intangible? It is the weight of constant gravity, riveted to a short flight. The flight has the shape of a spiral, an ellipse—and the shape of the heart … Ah, the proper weight of man! This rift, this tangle, this ultimate depth— this clinging when it is so hard to unstick heart and thought. And in all this—freedom, a freedom, and sometimes frenzy, the frenzy of freedom trapped in this tangle. And in all this—love, which springs from freedom, as water springs from an oblique rift in the earth. This is man! He is not transparent, not monumental, not simple, in fact he is poor. This is one man—and what about two people, four, a hundred, a million— multiply all this (multiply the greatness by the weakness) and you will have the product of humanity, the product of human life.”
Karol Wojtyla (Pope St. John Paul II), The Jeweler’s Shop, Act 1, scene 4).

Here’s a link to the play:

Letter to the Postulators for the OFM, Regarding Bl. John Duns Scotusk

To the Office of Postulation for the Causes of Saints,
Order of Friars Minor
Dear Brothers,

First, as a Secular Carmelite, I would like to congratulate you on the canonizations of Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, who have significance to both our Orders. I don’t know how these proceedings work, but I would like to report a potential miracle for the cause of Bl. John Duns Scotus.

I have had a lifelong battle with the Marfan syndrome, a genetic disorder of the connective tissues. I grew up with a dilated aortic root which went aneurysmal and was replaced-with a St. Jude” valve in June 1996, when I was 19 years old (http://www.discovery.org/a/514). Approximately 10 years later, my descending thoracic aorta began dilating. In October 2008, I suffered a spontaneous pneumothorax. That same year, I was diagnosed with a tortuous carotid artery and a brain aneurysm (it’s complicated, but does not need surgery although it causes some neurological deficits). On January 1, 2011, at approximately 1 AM, I suffered an aortic dissection from the middle of my aortic arch to iliac arteries. The blood flow to my right leg was cut off for 24 hours. The only surgery they did at the time was a “femoral-femoral” bypass.

I have a wife and four children, and, though I have always waivered between accepting my cross and praying for healing, I prayed in early 2011 for guidance on which Blessed to pray to for healing, that he or she might be canonized. I have a BA in philosophy, and I have long been fascinated with the figure of Bl. Scotus, particularly given his defense of the Immaculate Conception. In my own speculations, I had considered Bl. Scotus or one of several Carmelite venerables and beati, or a few others, and after praying about it, I felt Our Lord wanted me to devote my prayers for healing to Bl. Scotus.

Surgery on the descending aorta is a high-risk procedure for anyone. For someone with Marfan syndrome who has already had a previous aortic graft and a dissection, it is especially risky: putting various mortality studies and statistics together told me that I’d have a less than 10% chance of surviving the surgery and not having permanent organ damage or paralysis. I have read many stories of people with Marfan syndrome undergoing post-dissection aorta repairs and ending up in comas, having their lungs fill up with fluid, etc.

I was told in May 2012 that I wouldn’t survive the summer without surgery, but I wanted to wait for the right doctor. I prayed about it. In December 2012, I made my final profession as a secular Carmelite and then found the name of a highly ranked vascular surgeon, Dr. John “Jeb” Hallett at Roper-St. Francis Hospital (a Bon Secours hospital that merged with a Protestant nonprofit hospital) in Charleston, SC, 3 hours from where I live. Dr. Hallett and the then-head of cardiothoracic surgery at Roper, Dr. David Peterseim, performed the surgery on March 27, 2013. On March 20, they performed a bypass of my left subclavian artery to my left carotid to prevent a stroke. I was permitted to come home for my daughter’s Confirmation. Then I went back for the main surgery. Though it had been scheduled for that day for months, the doctors told my family that the widest part of my aorta was larger than 6 cm, and that it was so weak that I should have already had a fatal dissection and likely would have if the surgery had been a few days later.

The surgery went relatively smoothly, but there were complications. I ended up in the hospital for 3 months, spending 3 weeks anaesthetized. I had to have surgery to repair a tear in my thoracic duct, a drainage tube for a chyle leak, a trachyostomy, and insertion of a J-peg feeding tube. I was fed intravenously and by feeding tube for 2 months. My stomach was paralyzed, though some of its function has returned. The only long-term complication was a paralyzed vocal cord. Every day until I was well on the road to recovery, my wife posted a prayer to Bl. John Duns Scotus on her and my Facebook pages, asking people to pray for his intercession.

Almost every doctor I’ve talked to has said my survival and recovery are miraculous. Few surgeons would have put the care and dedication into my survival that the people at Roper did, and most patients in my situation would have had their respirators and feeding tubes pulled. I know as postulators you know what does and does not count as miraculous, but I’ve heard of cases being used in canonizations that were far more medically explicable than my own. While it’s easy to say, “You just had the right doctors,” even finding those doctors at the right time was an answer to prayer.
I hope my story will help to get the champion of the Immaculata the canonization he well deserves.

Abortion hurts everyone

Sharon Osbourne and Toni Braxton have both recently spoken out about their pain as post abortive women.

She recounted: “I had an abortion at 17 and it was the worst thing I ever did . . . I went alone. I was terrified. It was full of other young girls, and we were all terrified and looking at each other and nobody was saying a bloody word. I howled my way through it, and it was horrible. I would never recommend it to anyone because it comes back to haunt you. When I tried to have children, I lost three — I think it was because something had happened to my cervix during the abortion.</blockquote<

When Mary was going through the miscarriage, I was very stoic for days. She laid in her parents' bed through the process. Her (adult) brothers thought she was "just sick."

As the "tissue" started coming out, we collected the remains to seek some kind of burial (that's another story).

Shortly after the main body came out, I passed through their living room, where my brother-in-law was watching CNN and some pro-abort sicko was talking, and I just started howling. "What's wrong with John?" He asked.

I ran down the hall and picked up the container that held the remains, and I just screamed for I-don't-know-how-long.

The greatest pain is knowing that your baby died, a human life was created and ended-as all must do-and wondering what happened to that young soul (that's another discussion), not being able to really know him or her at all or know if you ever will.

The second greatest pain is knowing that society says "It's just a blob of tissue. You're grieving for a life that was cut short before most people realized there was one there, and while 1 in 6 pregnancies end by natural miscarriage, the grief is secret.

To protect the so-called "right to choose," we suppress parents' right to grieve. That fundamental principle was the original reason for the "Lewis Crusade," originally intended as an Apostolate, not simply a blog.

Personhood Now.

I still cry sometimes.

A funny thing happened on the way to Confession . . .

I had made a point of trying to get my family to Confession in the midst of other Saturday plans.
Then I was in bed with chest pain, so we were running late but got there around 4:45. The Confessional was dark; no sign of a priest. I noticed my wife hadn’t followed us in, and we were leaving anyway, when I found her standing by the van, the rear gate still open. There was oily fluid all over the ground, and she showed me how the fluid streamed out when she opened and closed the wheelchair lift:
Hydraulic fluid, leaking out of the pistons.
Great.
We’d “just” had them replaced, four years ago. Seems like just yesterday but forever. That was right after the second engine (for us, third for it) in our handicapped adapted 2000 Chevy Express 3500. Turns out, 4 years is about as long as those pistons last. Now I know, but while we have started budgeting for repairs, we just put a bunch of money into “regular” repairs, and she’s had to pay cash for some graduate courses. We were just starting to work on tightening the budget a bit more to save for emergencies and hopefully a down payment on a house in a year or two. We’d like to finally live in a house big enough for 4 kids sometime before they’re adults.

So, here we are, looking at another repair that could reach into the thousands. We tried Modest Needs 4 or 5 years ago, but that’s “All or Nothing.” This time, we went with GoFundMe, which takes a fee but sends the money as it’s donated.

Since Saturday night when I set it up, we’ve already raised about $470. In the morning, I will take it to a repair place and get a more exact estimate. Please pray, donate or at least share the link.
my GoFundMe Campaign

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Interesting quote from the _Compendium_

I was drafting a comment, and possibly a blog post, on the notion of “living wage” and while searching the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church for what it says about “wages,” I found the following:

The rights of persons with disabilities need to be promoted with effective and appropriate measures: “It would be radically unworthy of man, and a denial of our common humanity, to admit to the life of the community, and thus admit to work, only those who are fully functional. To do so would be to practise a serious form of discrimination, that of the strong and healthy against the weak and sick”[292]. Great attention must be paid not only to the physical and psychological work conditions, to a just wage, to the possibility of promotion and the elimination of obstacles, but also to the affective and sexual dimensions of persons with disabilities: “They too need to love and to be loved, they need tenderness, closeness and intimacy”[293], according to their capacities and with respect for the moral order, which is the same for the non-handicapped and the handicapped alike.