Manliness and a Perfect Funeral

http://jenniferfitz.com/manliness-and-a-perfect-funeral/

A beautiful tribute to my beloved John.

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Our Lady as Widow

It was my consolation from God on the night my husband died, to realize that of all the titles I had heard of Our Lady, widow was not one of them, but now I know intimately the pain she must have felt at St. Joseph’s death. I suddenly realized every time Jesus refers to a widow and/or an orphan, He refers to His Mother and Himself.   I found this article very helpful:

“The experience of Mary and her times of loneliness that arose from the circumstances of her life as the mother of Jesus is a reminder that Mary’s life was real and truly human.

She knew what it meant to be isolated, to fear, to experience terrible anxiety, loneliness, and hurt. For all her sinlessness, Mary’s life was filled with the faith-demanding events just mentioned. There likely were many more.”

“A union of soul with soul more perfect”

My husband, John, the author of this blog, always said he was (_) with a life expectancy of 20. He had a genetic disorder, and so he and I discussed death probably way more than the average couple. I shared this in a discussion about what Heaven will be like, and I thought it might be helpful. It’s from a letter to a young widow by St. John Chrysostom:

But, as it is, we have been relieved from this apprehension, and we are firmly persuaded that in the great day he (the widow’s husband) will appear in much radiance, shining forth near the King, and going with the angels in advance of Christ and clad with the robe of unutterable glory, and standing by the side of the King as he gives judgment, and acting as one of His chief ministers. Wherefore desisting from mourning and lamentation do thou hold on to the same way of life as his, yea even let it be more exact, that having speedily attained an equal standard of virtue with him, you may inhabit the same abode and be united to him again through the everlasting ages, not in this union of marriage but another far better. For this is only a bodily kind of intercourse, but then there will be a union of soul with soul more perfect, and of a far more delightful and far nobler kind.

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People understand “cancer”

(John drafted this but never finished it.  His lifelong struggle was getting people to understand that his condition was as terminal as cancer.  It was very hard for me, as his wife, to see that people did not understand this, how delicate his precious earthly life was and every time they beheld my darling husband, they were beholding a wondrous miracle of God.  Humankind cannot bear very much reality.)

They understand “heart disease.”
They understand “diabetes.”
At least as well as they “understand” anything about someone else’s sufferings.
I’ll never “get better.”  I’ll never “recover.”  I have good times and I have bad times, but my “good times” usually lead directly into my “bad times” because my body can’t take it.
I have  a dissected aorta.  If such things can be quantified, articles on pain often mention aortic dissection as the worst possible pain a person can have (though it can also be asymptomatic).
I have 2 aortic grafts, including an artificial valve.
I have a 4.9 cm aneurysm in my gut that will, if it doesn’t burst first, have to be operated on once it hits 6 cm.  Right now, my left kidney and left leg are getting their blood supply. from scar tissue.  The most likely best outcome of my next surgery will be that I lose just one leg or kidney.
In fall 2008, I spent 2 months coughing and taking antibiotics for “pneumonia” and was told I had a nodule on my left lung that looked like a possible tumor, too small to biopsy or operate on yet.  After my dissection in 2011, I found out it wasn’t a nodule or a tumor–it was scar tissue from a lung collapse that wasn’t properly treated–the two months of “pneumonia.”  I spent two months thinking I had some horrible contagious disease and then 2 years after that thinking I had early stage lung cancer (attributed to my frequent CT radiation) because an urgicare doctor didn’t know that hearing no air in my lung (his words) meant it was collapsed and not pneumonia.
My natural lenses sit at the bottoms of my eyes, attached by a few zonules.  If those ever tear completely, my lenses will pose a risk to my retina and have to be removed.  As it is, if I turn or move my head too quickly, or lay flat, my lenses float up, disrupt my vision, disrupt the pressure in my eyes, and give me a headache.
I have, for simplicity’s sake, a brain aneurysm.  It’s in a vein, so they say it’s nonoperable and won’t burst.  But it’s right in one of my motor cortexes, and when it acts up it causes everything from slurred speech and forgetting how to sign my name to migraine to loss of motor control.
I have a tortuous carotid artery.
I *used* to have mitral valve prolapse, but that has apparently been healed by the Lord.
I have a paralyzed vocal cord, the cost of my last aortic graft surgery, which not only limits my speech but my swallowing and breathing.
I have gastroparesis, and eating too much or eating the wrong foods causes unbearable cramping, nausea and occasionally vomiting.
That’s not getting into my chronic joint problems and the side effects of my medicines.

Forgiveness

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I’m John’s wife.  I wrote this the day of his death, October 11, 2018.

“If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

Many of you are asking what you can do for us. One thing I know John C. Hathaway wants us all to do is forgive, from the bottom of our hearts. He had an intense dark night of the soul, but he was graced with healing and light by Jesus in the weeks before he died (1am on 10/11/18). So, please, know that John and I and the children ask forgiveness for trespasses committed, extend forgiveness, and encourage everyone to repent and extend forgiveness as Jesus adjourned us all to do in the Our Father/Lord’s Prayer. His 3 months in the ICU (after descending aorta replacement surgery) in 2013 were fraught with disturbing images. He saw hell, and God told him he needed to extend mercy to receive mercy. We have been deeply hurt by many people, often being misunderstood, rejected, and abandoned as we struggle in a world that is hugely cruel to the weak. Yes, even amongst our own brothers and sisters in Christ. It makes for a lot of bitterness, I must confess.

As a kid, I never understood why “Mary,” the name of Jesus’s Mother, would mean bitter. It was only in the past several months that I realized there are two types of bitterness. There is a bitterness that causes the drying up of one’s soul from holding grudges, losing hope, giving up, shoving people away. Conversely, there is also the meaning of bitters as a medicine or herb. The type of bitterness that we can allow by God’s grace to bring healing, slowly, yes painfully, but very surely to our souls of all wrong. I read that bitters are a part of the Seder meal, which got me to thinking of the Last Supper and the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. Catholics have a devotion to Our Lady as the Mother of Sorrows. As I lay in bed last night, desperately missing his warm presence next to mine, it dawned on me that Mary is also a Widow. As a Catholic, I believe in Mary’s perpetual virginity but for the first time, it dawned on me how much she would have ached for her husband’s chaste presence, who guarded them through so much in the temporal life. John, I love and miss you so. Your name means God is gracious and Manly, and that you are.

 

John’s Funeral Plans and Holy Hour

My husband, John, passed away on October 11, 2018.  This blog was his labor of love for God.  He long knew he would die an early death, and he made these funeral plans when he was facing major surgery in 2013.  Thanks to our local pastor, he will be able to have his full Requiem Mass he so long desired. However, I wanted to share what he had written and ask that if you read this, that you say at least some of the prayers he shared here.   Please pray for his soul and all of us he leaves in this vale of tears.  –Mary, his wife

Entrance antiphon and hymn:
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis, te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion, et tibi reddetur votum in Ierusalem.  Exaudi orationem meam ad te omnes caro veniet

Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring

 

Collect (from the Carmelite Propers):
Lord, You are the glory of those who serve You.

Look lovingly on our departed brothers and sisters, especially John of the Little Way,

united in following Christ and his Mother,

by the waters of baptism and the bonds of Carmel.

In Your mercy,

grant them everlasting sight of You,

their Creator and Redeemer.
We ask this through Our Lord, Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

 

First Reading: Sirach 18:7-12
Psalm 42:2,3,5

Second Reading: 2 Timothy 2:8-13

Gospel Acclamation: John 6:51-52

Gospel: John 19:17-18, 25-29

Offertory: Now We Remain
Communion: I Am the Bread of Life
Recessional: On Eagle’s Wings or In Paradisum or both

After Mass:

Saint Michael the Archangel,

defend us in battle.

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;

and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host –

by the Divine Power of God –

cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,

who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

 

Reception–secular songs and readings?

 

HOLY HOUR

Leader: O God, come to my assistance

Response: O Lord, Make haste to help me

Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament

Hymns

 

O salutaris Hostia, Quae caeli pandis ostium: Bella premunt hostilia, Da robur, fer auxilium. Uni trinoque Domino Sit sempiterna gloria, Qui vitam sine termino Nobis donet in patria. Amen.

 

DIES irae, dies illa, solvet saeculum in favilla, teste David cum Sibylla.	THAT day of wrath, that dreadful day, shall heaven and earth in ashes lay, as David and the Sybil say.
Quantus tremor est futurus, quando iudex est venturus, cuncta stricte discussurus!	What horror must invade the mind when the approaching Judge shall find and sift the deeds of all mankind!
Tuba mirum spargens sonum per sepulcra regionum, coget omnes ante thronum.	The mighty trumpet’s wondrous tone shall rend each tomb’s sepulchral stone and summon all before the Throne.
Mors stupebit et natura, cum resurget creatura, iudicanti responsura.	Now death and nature with surprise behold the trembling sinners rise to meet the Judge’s searching eyes.
Liber scriptus proferetur, in quo totum continetur, unde mundus iudicetur.	Then shall with universal dread the Book of Consciences be read to judge the lives of all the dead.
Iudex ergo cum sedebit, quidquid latet apparebit: nil inultum remanebit.	For now before the Judge severe all hidden things must plain appear; no crime can pass unpunished here.
Quid sum miser tunc dicturus? quem patronum rogaturus? cum vix iustus sit securus.	O what shall I, so guilty plead? and who for me will intercede? when even Saints shall comfort need?
Rex tremendae maiestatis, qui salvandos salvas gratis, salva me, fons pietatis.	O King of dreadful majesty! grace and mercy You grant free; as Fount of Kindness, save me!
Recordare Iesu pie, quod sum causa tuae viae: ne me perdas illa die.	Recall, dear Jesus, for my sake you did our suffering nature take then do not now my soul forsake!
Quaerens me, sedisti lassus: redemisti crucem passus: tantus labor non sit cassus.	In weariness You sought for me, and suffering upon the tree! let not in vain such labor be.
Iuste iudex ultionis, donum fac remissionis, ante diem rationis.	O Judge of justice, hear, I pray, for pity take my sins away before the dreadful reckoning day.
Ingemisco, tamquam reus: culpa rubet vultus meus: supplicanti parce Deus.	You gracious face, O Lord, I seek; deep shame and grief are on my cheek; in sighs and tears my sorrows speak.
Qui Mariam absolvisti, et latronem exaudisti, mihi quoque spem dedisti.	You Who did Mary’s guilt unbind, and mercy for the robber find, have filled with hope my anxious mind.
Preces meae non sunt dignae: sed tu bonus fac benigne, ne perenni cremer igne.	How worthless are my prayers I know, yet, Lord forbid that I should go into the fires of endless woe.
Inter oves locum praesta, et ab haedis me sequestra, statuens in parte dextera.	Divorced from the accursed band, o make me with Your sheep to stand, as child of grace, at Your right Hand.
Confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis. voca me cum benedictis.	When the doomed can no more flee from the fires of misery with the chosen call me.
Oro supplex et acclinis, cor contritum quasi cinis: gere curam mei finis.	Before You, humbled, Lord, I lie, my heart like ashes, crushed and dry, assist me when I die.
Lacrimosa dies illa, qua resurget ex favilla. iudicandus homo reus: huic ergo parce Deus.	Full of tears and full of dread is that day that wakes the dead, calling all, with solemn blast to be judged for all their past.
Pie Iesu Domine, dona eis requiem. Amen.	Lord, have mercy, Jesus blest, grant them all Your Light and Rest. Amen.

 

O God of spirits and of all flesh, Who hast trampled down death and overthrown the Devil, and given life to Thy world, do Thou, the same Lord, give rest to the souls of Thy departed servants in a place of brightness, a place of refreshment, a place of repose, where all sickness, sighing, and sorrow have fled away. Pardon every transgression which they have committed, whether by word or deed or thought. For Thou art a good God and lovest mankind; because there is no man who lives yet does not sin, for Thou only art without sin, Thy righteousness is to all eternity, and Thy word is truth.

For Thou are the Resurrection, the Life, and the Repose of Thy servants who have fallen asleep, O Christ our God, and unto Thee we ascribe glory, together with Thy Father, who is from everlasting, and Thine all-holy, good, and life-creating Spirit, now and ever unto ages of ages. Amen.

Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a Sinner (100 times)

 

The Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Six Decade Carmelite Form, Glorious Mysteries
Apostle’s Creed
Our Father
For an increase in Faith: Hail Mary . . . .
For an increase in Hope: Hail Mary . . .

For an increase in Love: Hail Mary . . .

Glory to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit . . .

First Glorious Mystery: the Resurrection:
Now when it was late that same day, the first of the week, and the doors were shut, where the disciples were gathered together, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them: Peace be to you. [20] And when he had said this, he shewed them his hands and his side. The disciples therefore were glad, when they saw the Lord.  Now when it was late that same day, the first of the week, and the doors were shut, where the disciples were gathered together, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them: Peace be to you. [20] And when he had said this, he shewed them his hands and his side. The disciples therefore were glad, when they saw the Lord. (Jn 20:19-23)

Our Father
10 Hail Mary’s

Glory be
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy Mercy.  Jesus, it is for Your love, for the conversion of sinners, in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and for the Holy Father.
Second Glorious Mystery: the Ascension
Now when it was late that same day, the first of the week, and the doors were shut, where the disciples were gathered together, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them: Peace be to you. [20] And when he had said this, he shewed them his hands and his side. The disciples therefore were glad, when they saw the Lord. (Matthew 28:16-20

Our Father
10 Hail Mary’s

Glory be
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy Mercy.  Jesus, it is for Your love, for the conversion of sinners, in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and for the Holy Father.
Third Glorious Mystery: Pentecost

[1] And when the days of the Pentecost were accomplished, they were all together in one place: [2] And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a mighty wind coming, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. [3] And there appeared to them parted tongues as it were of fire, and it sat upon every one of them:[4] And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they began to speak with divers tongues, according as the Holy Ghost gave them to speak (Luke 2:1-4)

Our Father
10 Hail Mary’s

Glory be
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy Mercy.  Jesus, it is for Your love, for the conversion of sinners, in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and for the Holy Father.
Fourth Glorious Mystery: Assumption
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

2I say to the LORD, “You are my LORD.

My happiness lies in you alone.”

And so, my heart rejoices, my soul is glad;

even my flesh shall rest in hope.

10For you will not abandon my soul to hell,

nor let your holy one see corruption. Psalm 16 1-2,9-10

Our Father
10 Hail Mary’s

Glory be
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy Mercy.  Jesus, it is for Your love, for the conversion of sinners, in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and for the Holy Father.

Fifth Glorious Mystery: Coronation of Mary
And the temple of God was opened in heaven: and the ark of his testament was seen in his temple, and there were lightnings, and voices, and an earthquake, and great hail.  And a great sign appeared in heaven: A woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars:  (Revelation 11: 19-12:1)

Our Father
10 Hail Mary’s

Glory be
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy Mercy.  Jesus, it is for Your love, for the conversion of sinners, in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and for the Holy Father.
Sixth Glorious Mystery: Patronage of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

“Whosoever dies

wearing this scapular

shall not suffer

eternal fire.”

Our Father
10 Hail Mary’s

Glory be
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy Mercy.  Jesus, it is for Your love, for the conversion of sinners, in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and for the Holy Father.

Hail, Holy Queen, mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope.  To thee do we cry, poor, banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then,  O most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
We fly to thy patronage, O Holy Mother of God.  Despise not our petitions in our necessities, but deliver us from all dangers O glorious and blessed Virgin
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

 

 

Ad Vesperas	At Vespers
Absolute incipitur:	Is absolutely begun:
Ant: Placebo Domino.	Ant: I will please.
Psalmus [114]: Dilexi, quoniam exaudiet Dominus: vocem orationis meae. Quia inclinavit aurem suam mihi: et in diebus meis invocabo. Circumdederunt me dolores mortis: pericula inferni invenerunt me. Tribulationem, et dolorem inveni: et nomen Domini invocavi. O Domine, libera animam meam, misericors Dominus, et iustus: et Deus noster miseretur. Custodiens parvulos Dominus: humiliatus sum, et liberavit me. Convertere anima mea in requiem tuam: quia Dominus benefecit tibi. Quia eripuit animam meam de morte: oculos meos a lacrymis, pedes meos a lapsu. Placebo Domino: in regione vivorum.	Psalm [114]: I have loved, because our Lord: will hear the voice of my prayer. Because he hath inclined his ear to me: and in my days I will call upon him. The sorrows of death have compassed me: and the pains of hell have found me. I have found tribulation, and sorrow: and I called on the name of our Lord. O Lord, deliver my soul, merciful Lord, and just: and our God hath mercy. Our Lord keepeth little ones: I was humbled, and he hath delivered me. Turn O my soul into thy rest: because our Lord hath done good to thee. Because he hath delivered my soul from death: my eyes from tears, my feet from sliding. I will please our Lord in the country of the living.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
Ant: Placebo Domino in regione vivorum.	Ant: I will please our Lord in the country of the living.
Ant: Heu mihi.	Ant: Woe is me.
Psalmus [119]: Ad Dominum cum tribularer, clamavi: et exaudivit me. Domine libera animam meam a labiis iniquis: et a lingua dolosa. Quid detur tibi, aut quid apponatur tibi: ad linguam dolosam? Sagittae potentis acutae: cum carbonibus desolatoriis. Heu mihi, quia incolatus meus prolongatus est, habitavi cum habitantibus Cedar: multum incola fuit anima mea. Cum his, qui oderunt pacem, eram pacificus: cum loquebar illis, inpugnabant me gratis.	Psalm [119]: When I was in tribulation I cried to our Lord: and he heard me. O Lord Deliver my soul from unjust lips: and from a deceitful tongue. What may be given to thee, or what may be added unto thee: to a deceitful tongue? The sharp arrows of the mighty: with coals of desolation. Woe is unto me, that my sojourning is prolonged, I have dwelt with the inhabitants of Cedar: my soul hath been much a sojourner. With them, that hated peace, I was peaceable: when I spake to them, they impugned me without cause.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
Ant: Heu mihi Domine, quia incolatus meus prolongatus est.	Ant: Woe is me O Lord, that my abode is prolonged.
Ant: Dominus.	Ant: Our Lord.
Psalmus [120]: Levavi oculos meos in montes: unde veniet auxilium mihi. Auxilium meum a Domino: qui fecit caelum et terram. Non det in commotionem pedem tuum: neque dormitet, qui custodit te. Ecce non dormitabit: neque dormiet, qui custodit Israel. Dominus custodit te, Dominus protectio tua: super manum dexteram tuam. Per diem sol non uret te: neque luna per noctem. Dominus custodit te ab omni malo: custodiat animam tuam Dominus. Dominus custodiat introitum tuum, et exitum tuum: ex hoc nunc, et usque in saeculum.	Psalm [120]: I have lifted up mine eyes unto the mountains: from whence help shall come to me. My help is from our Lord: which made heaven and earth. Let him not give thy foot to be moved: neither let him slumber that keepeth thee. Lo he shall not slumber: nor sleep, that keepeth Israel. Our Lord keepeth thee, our Lord is thy protection: upon thy right hand. By day the sun shall not burn thee: nor the moon by night. Our Lord doth keep thee from all evil: let our Lord keep thy soul. Let our Lord keep thy coming in, and thy going out: from henceforth, now and forever.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
Ant: Dominus custodiat te ab omni malo, custodiat animam tuam Dominus.	Ant: Our Lord doth keep thee from all evil, our Lord can keep thy soul.
Ant: Si iniquitates.	Ant: If thou O Lord.
Psalmus [129]: De profundis clamavi ad te Domine: Domine exaudi vocem meam. Fiant aures tuae intendentes: in vocem deprecationis meae. Si iniquitates observaveris Domine: Domine quis sustinebit? Quia apud te propitiatio est: et propter legem tuam sustinui te Domine. Sustinuit anima mea in verbo eius: speravit anima mea in Domino. A custodia matutina usque ad noctem: speret Israel in Domino. Quia apud Dominum misericordia: et copiosa apud eum redemptio. Et ipse redimet Israel: ex omnibus iniquitatibus eius.	Psalm [129]: From the depths I have cried to thee O Lord: Lord hear my voice. Let thine ears be attentive: unto the voice of my petition. If thou wilt observe iniquities O Lord: Lord who shall endure it? Because with thee there is pitifulness: and for thy law I have expected thee O Lord. My soul hath stayed in his word: my soul hath hoped in our Lord. From the morning watch even until night: let Israel hope in our Lord. Because with our Lord there is mercy: and with him plentiful redemption. And he shall redeem Israel: from all his iniquities.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
Ant: Si iniquitates observaveris Domine, Domine quis sustinebit?	Ant: If thou O Lord observe iniquities, O Lord who shall be able to endure it?
Ant: Opera.	Ant: The works.
Psalmus [137]: Confitebor tibi Domine in toto corde meo: quoniam audisti verba oris mei. In conspectu angelorum psallam tibi: adorabo ad templum sanctum tuum, et confitebor nomini tuo. Super misericordia tua, et veritate tua: quoniam magnificasti super omne nomen sanctum tuum. In quacumque die invocavero te, exaudi me: multiplicabis in anima mea virtutem. Confiteantur tibi Domine omnes reges terrae: quia audierunt omnia verba oris tui. Et cantent in viis Domini: quoniam magna est gloria Domini. Quoniam excelsus Dominus, et humilia respicit: et alta a longe cognoscit. Si ambulavero in medio tribulationis, vivificabis me: et super iram inimicorum meorum extendisti manum tuam, et salvum me fecit dextera tua. Dominus retribuet pro me, Domine misericordia tua in saeculum: opera manuum tuarum ne despicias.	Psalm [137]: I will confess to thee O Lord in my whole heart: because thou hast heard the words of my mouth. In the sight of Angels I will sing to thee: I will adore toward thy holy temple, and will confess to thy name. Upon thy mercy and thy truth: because thou hast magnified thy holy name above all things. In what day soever I shall call on thee, hear me: thou shalt multiply strength in my soul. Let all the Kings of the earth O Lord confess to thee: because they have heard all the words of thy mouth. And let them sing in the ways of our Lord: because great is the glory of our Lord. Because our Lord is high, and he beholdeth low things: and high things he knoweth far off. If I shall walk in the midst of tribulation, thou wilt quicken me: and upon the wrath of mine enemies thou hast extended thy hand, and thy right hand hath saved me. Our Lord will repay for me, O Lord thy mercy is forever: despise not the works of thy hands.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
Ant: Opera manuum tuarum Domine ne despicias.	Ant: The works of thy hands dispise not O Lord.
V: Audivi vocem de caelo dicentem mihi.	V: I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me.
R: Beati mortui qui in Domino moriuntur.	R: Blessed are the dead which die in our Lord.
Ant: Omne.	Ant: All.
Canticum Beatae Mariae Virginis [Luc. 1]: Magnificat: anima mea Dominum . Et exultavit spiritus meus: in Deo salutari meo . Quia respexit humilitatem ancillae suae: ecce enim ex hoc beatam me dicent omnes generationes . Quia fecit mihi magna, qui potens est: et sanctum nomen eius . Et misericordia eius, a progenie et progenies: timentibus eum . Fecit potentiam in brachio suo: dispersit superbos mente cordis sui . Deposuit potentes de sede: et exaltavit humiles . Esurientes implevit bonis: et divites dimisit inanes . Suscepit Israel puerum suum: recordatus misericordiae suae. Sicut locutus est ad patres nostros: Abraham, et semini eius in saecula .	The Song of the Blessed Virgin Mary [Luke 1]: My soul: doth magnify our Lord. And my spirit hath rejoiced: in God my saviour. Because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid: for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. Because he that is mighty, hath done great things to me: and holy is his name. And his mercy from generation unto generations: to them that fear him. He hath shewed might in his arm: he hath dispersed the proud in the conceit of their heart. He hath deposed the mighty from their seat: and hath exalted the humble. The hungry he hath filled with good things: and the rich he hath sent away empty. He hath received Israel his child: being mindful of his mercy. As he spake to our fathers: to Abraham, and his seed forever.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
Ant: Omne, quod dat mihi Pater, ad me veniet, et eum qui venit ad me, non eiiciam foras.	Ant: All, that my Father giveth me, shall come unto me, and he that cometh unto me, I will not cast forth.
Preces infrascriptae in ferialibus diebus dicuntur flexis genibus:	The prayers hereafter set down are to be said on the working days kneeling:
Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum: adveniat regnum tuum: fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra: panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.	Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
V: Et ne nos inducas in tentationem.	V: And lead us not into temptation.
R: Sed libera nos a malo.	R: But deliver us from evil.
Psalmus [145]: Lauda anima mea Dominum: laudabo Dominum in vita mea: psallam Deo meo quamdiu fuero. Nolite confidere in principibus: in filiis hominum, in quibus non est salus. Exibit spiritus eius, et revertetur in terram suam: in illa die peribunt omnes cogitationes eorum. Beatus cuius Deus Iacob adiutor eius, spes eius in Domino Deo ipsius: qui fecit caelum et terram, mare et omnia quae in eis sunt. Qui custodit veritatem in saeculum, facit iudicium iniuriam patientibus: dat escam esurientibus. Dominus solvit conpeditos: Dominus illuminat caecos. Dominus erigit elisos: Dominus diligit iustos. Dominus custodit advenas, pupillum et viduam suscipiet: et vias peccatorum disperdet. Regnabit Dominus in saecula, Deus tuus Sion: in generatione et generationem.	Psalm [145]: My soul praise thou our Lord, I will praise our Lord in my life: I will sing to my God as long as I shall be. Put not confidence in Princes: in the children of men, in whom there is no salvation. His spirit shall go forth, and shall return into his earth: in that day all their cogitations shall perish. Blessed is he whose God of Jacob is his helper his hope in our Lord his God: which made heaven and earth, the sea, and all things that are in them. Which keepeth truth forever, doth judgement for them that suffer wrong, giveth food to the hungry. Our Lord looseth the fettered: our Lord lighteneth the blind. Our Lord lifteth up the bruised: our Lord loveth the just. Our Lord keepeth strangers, the fatherless and widow he will receive: and the ways of sinners he shall destroy. Our Lord shall reign forever, thy God O Sion: in generation and generation.
Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.	Eternal rest give unto them O Lord: and let perpetual light shine unto them.
V: A porta inferi.	V: From the gate of hell.
R: Erue Domine animas eorum.	R: Deliver their souls O Lord.
V: Requiescant in pace.	V: Let them rest in peace.
R: Amen.	R: Amen.
V: Domine exaudi orationem meam.	V: O Lord hear my prayer.
R: Et clamor meus ad te veniat.	R: And let my cry come unto thee.
Oratio: Deus, qui inter Apostolicos sacerdotes famulos tuos pontificali seu sacerdotali fecisti dignitate vigere: praesta quaesumus: ut eorum quoque perpetuo aggregentur consortio. Deus veniae largitor et humanae salutis amator, quaesumus clementiam tuam: ut nostrae congregationis fratres, propinquos, et benefactores, qui ex hoc saeculo transierunt, beata Maria semper virgine intercedente cum omnibus sanctis tuis, ad perpetuae beatitudinis consortium pervenire concedas. Fidelium Deus omnium conditor, et redemptor animabus famulorum, famularumque tuarum remissionem cunctorum tribue peccatorum: ut indulgentiam, quam semper optaverunt, piis supplicationibus consequantur. Qui vivis et regnas in saecula saeculorum.	Prayer: O God, which among the Apostolic priests hast made thy servants to have power by pontifical or priestly dignity: Grant we beseech thee: that they may also be joined unto their perpetual society. O God the giver of pardon, and the lover of human salvation, we beseech thy clemency: that thou grant the brethren of our congregation, kinsfolk, and benefactors, which are departed out of this world, blessed Mary ever virgin making intercession with all the saints, to come to the fellowship of eternal blessedness. O God the creator, and redeemer of all the faithful, give unto the souls of thy servants men, and women remission of all their sins: that through Godly supplications they may obtain the pardon which they have always wished for. Who livest and reignest world without end.
R: Amen.	R: Amen.
V: Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine.	V: Eternal rest give unto them O Lord.
R: Et lux perpetua luceat eis.	R: And let perpetual light shine unto them.
V: Requiescant in pace.	V: Let them rest in peace.
R: Amen.	R: Amen.

Flos Carmeli

FLOWER of Carmel, Tall vine blossom laden; Splendor of heaven, Childbearing yet maiden. None equals thee.

Mother so tender, Who no man didst know, On Carmel’s children Thy favours bestow. Star of the Sea.

Strong stem of Jesse, Who bore one bright flower, Be ever near us And guard us each hour, who serve thee here.

Purest of lilies, That flowers among thorns, Bring help to the true heart That in weakness turns and trusts in thee.

Strongest of armour, We trust in thy might: Under thy mantle, Hard press’d in the fight, we call to thee.

Our way uncertain, Surrounded by foes, Unfailing counsel You give to those who turn to thee.

O gentle Mother Who in Carmel reigns, Share with your servants That gladness you gained and now enjoy.

Hail, Gate of Heaven, With glory now crowned, Bring us to safety Where thy Son is found, true joy to see. Amen. (Alleluia.)

 

Litany of the Carmelite Saints

Lord, Have Mercy on Us/Lord, Have Mercy on Us

Christ, Have Mercy on Us/Christ, Have Mercy on Us

Lord Have Mercy on Us/Lord Have Mercy on Us

 

Christ, Hear Us/Christ, Graciously Hear us

 

God, the Father of Heaven/Have Mercy on Us

God, the Son, Redeemer of the World/Have Mercy on Us

God, the Holy Spirit/Have Mercy on Us

Holy Trinity, one God/Have Mercy on Us

 

Divine Infant Jesus [of Prague]/Have Mercy on Us

 

Holy Mary, Mother of God/Pray for Us.

Holy, Virgin of Virgins/Pray for Us.

Mother of Divine Grace/Pray for Us.

Our Lady of Mt. Carmel/Pray for Us.

Mother and Ornament of Carmel/Have Mercy on Us

Patroness of all who wear the Scapular/Pray for Us.

Hope of all Who Die Wearing the Scapular/Pray for Us.

Mystical Rose/Pray for Us.

Star of the Sea/Pray for Us.

Our Lady of Guadalupe/Pray for Us.

Our Lady of Fatima/Pray for Us.

Queen of all Saints/Pray for Us.

Queen conceived without original sin/Pray for Us.

Queen assumed into heaven/Pray for Us.

Queen of the most holy Rosary/Pray for Us.

Queen of families/Pray for Us.

Queen of peace/Pray for Us.

 

All holy angels/Pray for Us.

 

Holy Father Elijah/Pray for Us.

St. Elisha/Pray for Us.

St. John the Baptist/Pray for Us.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart/Pray for Us.

St. Joseph, chaste spouse of Mary/Pray for Us.

St. Joseph, our patron/Pray for Us.

All holy Patriarchs and Prophets/Pray for Us.

 

St. Peter/Pray for Us.

St. Paul/Pray for Us.

St. John [the Evangelist]/Pray for Us.

All holy Apostles and Disciples of Our Lord/Pray for Us.

 

St. Angelus/Pray for Us.

Bl. Denis and Redemptus/Pray for Us.

Bl. Jean-Baptiste [Duverneuil]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Michael-Aloysius [Brulard]/Pray for Us.

Bl. James [Gagnot]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Teresa [of St. Augustine] and Companions [of Compiegne]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Isidore [Bakanja]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Maria Mercedes [Prat]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Maria Pilar [of St. Francis Borgia]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Teresa [of the Child Jesus and of St. John of the Cross]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Maria Angeles [of St. Joseph]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Maria Sagrario [of St. Aloysius Gonzaga]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Titus Brandsma/Pray for Us.

St. Teresa Benedicta [of the Cross]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Alphonsus Mary [Mazurek] and Companions/Pray for Us.

All Holy Martyrs/Pray for Us.

 

St. Albert of Jerusalem/Pray for Us.

St. Peter [Thomas]/Pray for Us.

St. Andrew [Corsini]/Pray for Us.

Bl. John Paul [II]/Pray for Us.

All Holy Bishops and Doctors of the Church/Pray for Us.

 

Holy Mother Teresa [of Jesus, of Avila]/Pray for Us.

St. John [of the Cross]/Pray for Us.

St. Therese [of the Child Jesus, of Lisieux]/Pray for Us.

 

St. Simon [Stock]/Pray for Us.

St. Albert [of Trapani]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Nuno [Alvares Pereira]/Pray for Us.

Bl. John [Soreth]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Baptist [Spagnoli]/Pray for Us.

St. Peter [of Alcantara]/Pray for Us.

St. Francis [Borgia, SJ]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Francis [Palau y Quer]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Kuriakos Elias [Chavara]/Pray for Us.

St. Henry [de Osso y Cervello]/Pray for Us.

St. Raphael [Kalinowski]/Pray for Us.

St. George [Preca]/Pray for Us.

 

St. Mary Magdalene [de Pazzi]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Mary of the Incarnation/Pray for Us.

Bl. Anne [of St. Bartholomew]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Mary [of Jesus]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Mary [of the Angels]/Pray for Us.

St. Teresa Margaret [Redi of the Sacred Heart]/Pray for Us.

St. Joachina [de Vedruna]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Mary [of Jesus Crucified]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Josepha [Naval Girbes]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Teresa Maria [Manetti of the Cross]/Pray for Us.

St. Teresa of Jesus [of the Andes]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Elia [of St. Clement]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Elizabeth [of the Trinity]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Maria Candida [of the Eucharist]/Pray for Us.

Bl. Maria Maravillas [of Jesus]/Pray for Us.

All Holy Priests and Religious/Pray for Us.

 

Bl. Louis and Zelie [Martin]/Pray for Us.

All Holy Men and Women/Pray for Us.

 

All you Saints of Carmel, intercede for us

All you Saints of God, intercede for us

 

We sinners/We beseech You to hear us

That You would spare us/We beseech You to hear us

That You would pardon us/We beseech You to hear us

That You would bring us to true penance/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to govern and preserve your holy Church/We beseech You to hear us

That You will guide and protect Our Order/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to preserve our Apostolic Prelate, and all orders of the Church in holy religion/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to humble the enemies of Holy Church/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to give peace and true concord to Christian kings and princes/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to grant peace and unity to all Christian people/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to call back to the unity of the Church all who have strayed from the truth and lead all unbelievers to the light of the Gospel/We beseech You to hear us

That You will bring many vocations to the Carmelite Orders/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to confirm and preserve us in your holy service/We beseech You to hear us

That You would lift up our minds to heavenly desires/We beseech You to hear us

That You would render eternal blessings to all our benefactors/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deliver our souls and the souls of our brethren in Carmel, relations and benefactors, from eternal damnation/We beseech You to hear us

That You would deign to give and preserve the fruits of the earth/We beseech You to hear us

That you would deign to grant eternal rest to all the faithful departed, particularly from the Order of Carmel/We beseech You to hear us

That you would deign graciously to hear us/We beseech You to hear us

Son of God/We beseech You to hear us

 

Lamb of God, who take away the sins of the world,

R/ spare us, O Lord.</em>

 

Lamb of God, who take away the sins of the world,

R/ graciously hear us, O Lord.</em>

 

Lamb of God, who take away the sins of the world,

R/ have mercy on us.</em>

 

V/ Christ, hear us.

R/ Christ, graciously hear us.</em>

 

V/ Lord, have mercy.

R/ Christ, have mercy.</em>

 

Lord, have mercy.</em>

 

Our Father . . .

 

Lord, You are the glory of those who serve You.

Look lovingly on our departed brothers and sisters, especially John of the Little Way,

united in following Christ and his Mother,

by the waters of baptism and the bonds of Carmel.

In Your mercy,

grant them everlasting sight of You,

their Creator and Redeemer.
We ask this through Our Lord, Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

 

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!</em>

 

Benediction
Tantum ergo Sacramentum

Veneremur cernui:

Et antiquum documentum

Novo cedat ritui:

Praestet fides supplementum

Sensuum defectui.

 

Genitori, Genitoque

Laus et jubilatio,

Salus, honor, virtus quoque

Sit et benedictio:

Procedenti ab utroque

Compar sit laudatio.

Amen.

 

1. Panem de caelis[4] praestitisti eis (in Paschaltide, ‘Alleluia’ is added).
2. Omne delectamentum in se habentem[Wis 16:20] (in Paschaltide, ‘Alleluia’ is added).

Let us pray.

 

O God, who in this wonderful Sacrament

left us a memorial of your Passion:

grant, we implore you,

that we may so venerate

the sacred mysteries of your Body and Blood,

as always to be conscious of the fruit of your Redemption.

You who live and reign forever and ever. Amen.

 

The Divine Praises

Blessed be God.

Blessed be His Holy Name.

Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.

Blessed be the name of Jesus.

Blessed be His Most Sacred Heart.

Blessed be Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar.

Blessed be the Holy Spirit, the paraclete.

Blessed be the great Mother of God, Mary most holy.

Blessed be her holy and Immaculate Conception.

Blessed be her glorious Assumption.

Blessed be the name of Mary, Virgin and Mother.

Blessed be Saint Joseph, her most chaste spouse.

Blessed be God in His angels and in His Saints.

 

May the heart of Jesus, in the Most Blessed Sacrament, be praised, adored, and loved with grateful affection, at every moment, in all the tabernacles of the world, even to the end of time. Amen.

Except during Lent:

You are God; we praise You.

You are the Lord; we acclaim You.

You are the eternal Father; all creation worships You.

To You all angels, all the pow’rs of heaven,

cherubim and seraphim, sing in endless praise:

Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of pow’r and might,

heaven and earth are full of Your glory.

The glorious company of apostles praise You.

The noble fellowship of prophets praise You.

The white-robed army of martyrs praise You.

Throughout the world the holy Church acclaims You:

Father, of majesty unbounded;

Your true and only Son, worthy of all worship;

and the Holy Spirit, advocate and guide.

You, Christ, are the king of glory, the eternal Son of the Father.

When You became man to set us free,

You did not spurn the virgin’s womb.

You overcame the sting of death

and opened the kingdom of heaven to all believers.

You are seated at God’s right hand in glory.

We believe that You will come and be our judge.

Come, then, Lord, and help Your people,

bought with the price of Your own blood,

and bring us with Your saints to glory everlasting.

 

THE WHISPERING ROOM Review

(My wife, Mary Hathaway, was given a free e advanced reader copy of THE WHISPERING ROOM, by Dean Koontz, but due to health and other issues, she could not finish the novel until now.  This is written from her point of view and shared on Amazon as well. The links go to Amazon, but we are NOT getting any money for it.  You can find the books elsewhere and even some are free for download.  They just enrich the meaning if you have read them.)

Many read Dean Koontz for his horror and suspense. I read him because he makes me laugh, brings me hope in our very fallen world, and his plot twists and character development serve as an amazing examination of conscience, one that usually leaves me squirming and landing on my knees in repentance. The higher, anagogical meaning is what I look for and am never disappointed.

In her essay “The Nature and Aim of Fiction,” found in the collection, Mystery and Manners, Flannery O’Connor writes, “I think the way to read a book is always to see what happens, but in a good novel, more always happens than we are able to take in at once, more happens than meets the eye. The mind is led on by what it sees into the greater depths that the book’s symbols naturally suggest. This is what is meant when critics say that a novel operates on several levels. The truer the symbol, the deeper it leads you, the more meaning it opens up.”

O’Connor could have been predicting the work of one of her biggest fans, Dean Koontz, in this essay. He may be known as the “Master of Suspense,” and aptly so, but it’s his use of symbols and their anagogical meaning that has me pondering his works long after I finish them and brings me back to them again. The “suspense” of what happens after earthly life is what he wants his readers to consider and I do, with every novel of his I have read.

THE WHISPERING ROOM, the second novel in what is promised to be a 7-book series features the intrepid and determined Jane Hawk, a rogue FBI agent on the run, investigating a series of deaths while attempting to guard herself and those she loves against the unseen enemies. Having been startled, enthralled and moved to tears by the end of THE SILENT CORNER, the first book in the series, I was anxious to see where Mrs. Hawk would land next in her quest to bring justice for her husband and safety for her son and others imperiled by “them.”

While THE SILENT CORNER is meticulously crafted to introduce the Jane Hawk universe, THE WHISPERING ROOM immediately draws the reader into an intimate scene of the slowly unveiling iniquitous underground. The pace is fast and the mood sinister. Jane’s quest for justice introduces her to some of the most foul and disgusting people one can imagine, as well as some of the bravest and kind. One’s conscience is pricked and left mourning for evil and its web in which we are all entangled. Its end left me puzzling and wondering where Jane was headed next in the quest for justice, an answer that is coming in May 2018, in THE CROOKED STAIRCASE. If you have not read The Silent Corner: A Novel of Suspense yet, I strongly recommend reading it first and then reading the sequel, THE WHISPERING ROOM.

I also suggest reading T.S. Eliot’s Collected Poems, 1909-1962 or read this excellent analysis of “The Hollow Men,”  as well as reading Flannery O’Connor’s The Complete Stories (FSG Classics). A look at CS Lewis and his book The Four Loves will also provide more insight into the deeper meaning of the fantastic Jane Hawk series and the other works of Dean Koontz.

In closing, I would strongly recommend reading a novel by his apprentice of sorts, Frank Redman, ELIJAH: A Suspense Novel and reading Redman’s publisher web site for his Koontz story.   Redman’s influence on Koontz’s writing and his life cannot be exaggerated, as once again, Redman’s integrity, bravery, faith, and health battle are featured in the Jane Hawk series, hidden in the characters’ names, words and actions, just as he served as the inspiration for ASHLEY BELL.

Like most adults, my spare time is limited, so I can cover all my reading needs in one of Koontz’s amazing novels– a spiritual work, a fantastic suspense, a deep romance, a political critique, a futuristic sci-fi thriller, and an examination of conscience, all in one incredible work of art.

Our Top-Secret Sin by Fr. Theodore from St. Michael’s Abbey

This is Mary, John’s wife posting.  I found this homily exactly the challenge I need to grow in holiness by rooting out the base that is in me, through God’s Grace.

“The mentality just described by St. Francis might be summed up in one sentence: “I’m too weak to practice virtue—at least, not heroically like the saints did—so I’m definitely dispensed from doing so.” Some of us here may be thinking similar thoughts. Despite this presumption, we might still manage to save our own soul, but many others will be lost—those onetime wayward souls whom any given saint manages to drag along with himself to heaven. Even one mortal sin can cost us much peace of mind, yet umpteen souls are lost and our conscience won’t be any worse for the wear, because here below this sin of which we speak will remain buried under a heap of excuses. We wanted to avoid the cross, but in the end we only managed to exchange one cross for another—perhaps even a heavier one. In the process, we forfeited ever so much joy to which the saints are privy both in time and eternity. What shall we say about all this? How about a prayer? Lord, spare us so rude an awakening in purgatory! Save us from our secret sin—and from our top secret sin: ingratitude. Make us thankful in thought, word and deed. Amen.”

 http://104.236.240.51/our-top-secret-sin?page=2

“Humankind cannot bear very much reality” Frank Redman’s ELIJAH

I don’t know exactly where to begin this review, which angle to take. I’m reeling. My wife and teenager have been commending Frank Redman‘s  ELIJAH: A SUSPENSE NOVEL to me for weeks now, and I finally read it. In short, I can say it was amazing, entertaining, chilling, and a punch in the gut in ways for which I was not prepared.  Apparently, I am not alone in this regard.  My wife remarked to me that with the internet’s instant access to so much information, when one writes about a book, a review is not sufficient.  Rather, an encounter would better describe it, where one meets the author, reads the background and influences, and embraces the story and its characters.  It certainly is true for our experience with Frank Redman and ELIJAH.

Frank Redman is a brand new author, whose own journey in the writing profession sounds like something out of a movie.  It’s his debut book, so I was thinking it might be something like early C.S. Lewis with a few twists in the manner of Dean Koontz, but it’s that and more.

By the time I got to the end of ELIJAH, I’d say it’s better than the early C.S. Lewis. This story has the mystique, chilling suspense, and humor of a Christian “Twin Peaks” or a more tightly written THAT HIDEOUS STRENGTH.   It takes you into levels of evil that many of us would rather not know at all, but far too many people actually live through. Many writers depict such evil and either glorify it or give it a worldly punishment, but few provide a sense of hope that there is something better, that victims can still find happiness and holiness. Frank Redman is one of those few writers, and ELIJAH  is a book with a message that needs to be read.

St. Augustine says a work of perfect logic may be true but if it’s boring to read, it won’t do any good, and people are more willing to read and believe something that’s eloquent. The same is true of literature and movies: it doesn’t matter how true it is or how artistically “well crafted” it is. If it doesn’t draw people in, nobody will read it. HAMLET may have psychological and moral depth, but it’s basically a story about murder, ghosts and revenge.   ELIJAH has it all.  It immediately drew me in with the supernatural and suspense, has great depth in the character’s dealings with his horrid past, as well as fantastically funny insights with well-crafted characters who open your eyes to the devastating horrors that are hidden in daily life.   The reality of evil is tangible, but it’s tempered with hope and perseverance.

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At times, the story of an author can sometimes be as compelling as the book the author wrote. This can be an advantage in attracting readers, as it is what led us to Frank Redman and ELIJAH. My wife and I both became Dean Koontz fans a little over a year ago. She noticed that Koontz has referred a few times to his friend Frank Redman (he dedicated SAINT ODD to him and said Frank’s struggle with brain cancer inspired ASHLEY BELL).

Through a series of events that I’ll leave Frank Redman to tell, he began a mentorship with Dean Koontz.  Koontz had read some of his writing, saw potential, and agreed to mentor Frank. Then, on the same day that I had my descending aorta surgery, Frank was diagnosed with an extremely rare and extremely lethal brain cancer–most people diagnosed with it are only diagnosed with it posthumously, and if they are diagnosed while alive, they die in days or weeks. Frank is still alive nearly 4 years later.  So, with a sense of urgency, I set aside the few dozen “in progress” books I’ve been working on reading for years to read ELIJAH, reading late into the night, and enjoying it more and more with each swipe of the screen.

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People don’t want to acknowledge the reality or enormity of Evil in the world.  It’s often hidden, and when it’s revealed, it can be nauseating, horrifying, and seemingly unfathomable.  The desire to stick one’s head in the sand is understandable, but unadvised.  Even less do people want to acknowledge the reality and enormity of God’s grace.  Redman’s ELIJAH addresses both supernatural phenomenon and their implications in our reality, in an engaging, fast-paced, thriller that will leave you reeling and pondering for weeks.

What is truly a “slap in the face”?

We’ve all heard by now of the suicide of Brittany Maynard, a 29 year old brain cancer victim who decided to become the poster woman for so called “death with dignity,” and then got mad when people criticized her “personal choice.”  The Pontifical Academy for Life issued a statement condemning assisted suicide, and calling her death “reprehensible.”  Maynard’s mother has now posted an article on some site called “Compassion and Choices“, saying that PAV statement is “immoral” and “a slap in the face.”  The Culture of Death is now calling it “the Pope’s sin.”  I submitted the following to “Compassion and Choices.”  Re-posting here:

You posted an article by Brittany Maynard’s mother, claiming that the Pontifical Academy for Life’s statement on her daughter’s suicide is a “slap in the face” and “immoral.” No, Brittany Maynard’s suicide, and your entire “death without dignity” movement is immoral and a slap in the face to every one of us who deals with debilitating, life threatening illnesses. I have Marfan syndrome. I have suffered horrible pain every day of my life. I have dealt every day with the knowledge it could be my last. I have also dealt quite regularly with the temptation to “end my suffering” in this life–but a death with *true* dignity, the death of a Saint, is far more appealing to me. The risk of eternal suffering in Hell, and the knowledge that Jesus died undeservingly for my sins, and continues to suffer that infinite pain of the Passion for me, make it worth it to me to share His sufferings now for love of Him. Leon Bloy said the only tragedy is not to be a Saint.
What is reprehensible is the notion that people with terminal illnesses should be killed or pressured to kill ourselves because we are a “burden” to others. What is reprehensible is saying that it is dignified and courageous to die the death of a coward.
I pray that Brittany Maynard was not culpable for her decision, or that she repented in her last seconds, but what she did was neither moral nor compassionate, for herself or others.

Sincerely,
John C. Hathaway, OCDS

On celebrity deaths and the Spiritual Works of Mercy

Generally speaking, my view of how the media, and society in general, handle celebrity deaths (or any deaths) can be understood by Fr. George Rutler’s “Speaking Well of the Dead” from the November 1997 Crisis, which addresses the problem of insta-canonizations and eulogies, particularly of people who do not seem deserving of it. Or, as Crisis co-founder Ralph McInerny once quipped in his own column, “We cannot be certain of the fates of anyone but the Saints and our mothers.”

Plus, I have never been comfortable with getting emotional over celebrities, whether living or dead. I pray for them, either way, and leave it at that. Somehow, even before I knew the details, however, the death of Robin Williams kind of hit me, and when the details came out, it hit even closer to home. The subsequent media frenzy has touched on a number of issues that I have been wanting to write about, anyway.

Some people have been condemned, rightly or wrongly, for calling for caution in how the issue is being handled, especially given the circumstances, and I’d like to address those two main areas of concern *in general*.

Again, there is generally a reaction in these situations to the true neo-Pelagianism of “he was a ‘good man.'” As the cartoon that accompanies Fr. Rutler’s piece reminds us, Our Lord, and Bl. Teresa of Calcutta (whose death was one of the events that inspired it) have both cautioned “No one is good but God.” “Judge not” works both ways. Salvation is not a game of mathematics, where good deeds win points and bad deeds take them away. Nor is it a magic formula of sacramental grace or saying, “I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior” being a “Get out of Hell free card.” Salvation is about relationship, and again I’ll address that later, perhaps.

Right now, I wanted to focus on what I think is the problem when dealing with death from a pastoral theology standpoint, and the major worry regarding suicide.

While they may or may not have phrased it badly, and often the harshest critics have been those who’ve faced this temptation itself, one of the biggest problems some people are having is language like the now-infamous, “Genie, you’re free” meme, or saying things like, “He’s in a better place.” These words may seem consoling, but they can, as Rush Limbaugh, Matt Walsh, Todd Bridges and others have attempted to warn, be severely tempting to someone in the grip of despair. If such language is problematic with a natural death, it’s dangerous in this case.

When I was seven years old, and first became aware of how different I was from other children, I first thought about jumping out a window because I’d heard about reincarnation on TV and thought I could come back with a better body. “I didn’t break any mirrors. Why have I had seven years of bad luck?” I cried on my birthday. What saved me then was my parents telling me there was no such thing, and that if I did that, I would go to Hell.
Just last year, when I was on a respirator and feeding tube, and sedated, and hearing the ICU nurses debating questions of Obamacare regulations, organ donation, and “why don’t they just pull the plug,” and for a time (time at that point was irrelevant, but that’s another story), I became convinced that everything I believed as a Catholic was wrong, and that it would be better to pull the plug. Thankfully, they didn’t take the new “living will” I attempted to draft seriously. They *did* take it seriously in assigning my a psychiatrist, but again that’s another story. I just bring it up here to say that, attempts to console one person might bring another to despair.

That brings me to my other main thought. These “insta-canonizations,” as they’re referred to, whether of celebrities or the fellow down the road, are often well-meaning attempts to practice two of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy at the expense of others. It is a corporate work of mercy to bury the dead. It is a spiritual work to comfort the sorrowful. However, in comforting the sorrowful, we must be cautious not to use language that discourages praying for the dead.

Purgatory is temporary, and the holy souls in Purgatory know they’re going to see Jesus, but that no one imperfect can stand in the presence of God. They can intercede for us, but not for themselves. However, they still suffer, and our prayers and sacrifices on their behalf can alleviate their suffering if not free them, so well meaning attempts to say that someone “is in a better place” and presume that he or she went straight to Heaven is failing in one of the spiritual works and discouraging others from practicing it.

The traditional Requiem prayers are all about the awesome judgement of God, and in addition to praying for the deceased, reminding those in mourning that we, too, are mortal. That’s where admonishing sinners, instructing the ignorant, and counseling the doubtful come into play.

We’ve covered 5 of the 7 spiritual works of mercy, and the other two provide the last guidepost in these situations: bearing wrongs patiently and forgiving willingly.

Whatever wrongs a deceased person has done must be forgiven by us if we are to show mercy. We must always forgive as we would be forgiven, so even if the person hasn’t asked God’s forgiveness that we know of, and while we must not commit the sin of presumption ourselves, we may and should offer forgiveness to the dead–though, again, forgiveness requires acknowledging something to forgive. We can talk about a person’s good qualities and the signs of hope while acknowledging the things that need forgiveness.

Thus, when we look at the various arguments surrounding the Williams suicide, there have sadly been many offenses against Mercy, but we should forgive each other.

What is Satan’s “Goal”?

A friend once told me a joke that illustrates, in reverse, a question that has always puzzled me.
Teresa of Calcutta dies. Jesus embraces her and says, “Welcome to Heaven! You have served Me well. Come enjoy the Supper of the Lamb!” He serves her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
She says, “Lord, I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but, after all my sacrifice, I had kind of expected more of a Heavenly banquet?”
“With only two people, why bother to cook?”

People speculate about whether Hell is “empty,” or near-empty, but what if Heaven is? St. Teresa of Avila says somewhere that God only needs two Saints in the world to have the Church. What if the few thousand people recognized as Beati and Saints are really the only people in Heaven?

Would that mean Christ’s sacrifice was in vain?
What is the Devil’s “goal”? Does it really think it can “win”?

“We deserve our punishment”

I know a lot of people  who suffer from chronic pain.  Most of my Marfan friends are non-Catholics, and I observe how very differently they approach the question.  Often, “Offer it up” has become such a cliche that it loses meaning.  Even Jesus cried out from the cross, and sometimes that’s what we have to do, but we must always remember to keep focused on the goal.  I constantly have to remind myself of these things:

1.  “Though He was in the form of God, Jesus did not deem equality with God something to be grasped at, . . .”

2.  “We deserve our punishment, but this Man has done no wrong.”

3.  “In my own body, I fill up what is still lacking in the sufferings of Christ.”

4.  Mother Angelica once asked, “Why me, Lord?”  She got a response: “Why Me?”  She never asked again.

5.  A single mortal sin merits eternal suffering.  The worst we can bear here is nothing compared to that.  Imagine enduring *anything* forever.  My mom’s all-time favorite homily was, “You think it’s hot here?!”

C. S. Lewis once responded to someone who said, “It’s hot as Hell,” with “How would you know?”  When I was in CVICU last year, thinking I was dead and in Gell, everything seemed unendurable because ?I thought it was forever.  I was hot (high grade fever and screwed up post op metabolism).  I was thirsty (living off a feeding tube and npo).  I was in pain.  Most of all, I was *bored.*  I couldn’t move or speak.  I was strapped in a bed with tubes all over my body.

The only way to survive such a situation without despair is the Lord’s grace.  The Voice kept telling me to stop waive ring and make a choice.  It kept telling me it was over: I was in Hell or destined for it, that Jesus would never forgive me.  Yet, I thought of Faust, and I prayed, and I used the seemingly endless monotony to pray.  In particular, I thought about “70 times 7 times,” though I confused it as “70×70” and couldn’t remember if I was supposed to ask or grant it, so I kept naming people in my prayers and asking their forgiveness while offering mine.  I prayed the Pater repeatedly, the Publican’s Prayer and St Dismas’s prayer, over and over, 24/7, for at least 2 or 3 days.  My recovery began.

Why Kenny Rogers and John Lennon were wrong

“The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep,” said one.
“Imagine all the people living for today,” said the other.

Our neighbors like to have bonfires on the weekends and play the radio.  Usually, they do it in fall and our relatively mild winters, but, given the bad winter we’ve had, coupled with yard debris, they’ve been having them the last several weekends.  When we were leaving for Mass, the repulsive “Imagine” started playing on the radio at the neighbors’.  I quickly started the car engine, knowing it was on Casting Crowns.  I thought about switching to Fr. Antonio Vivaldi’s _Four Seasons_, but figured I’d rather hear content to get Lennon’s book of Marx out of my head (so to speak; “Imagine” came out nearly a year after “American Pie”).  I didn’t, and it fit in with the weekend’s meditations.

“Imagine all the people living for today”??
That’s exactly why we’re in the mess we’re in.  That’s what Thomas Hobbes famously describes as the state of nature: the war of “all against all” because everyone is “living for the moment,” and “the life of man [is] solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”

Living for today is a good thing if you’re focused on the eternal “today” that is our destiny.

In his address at the 1998 Seattle C. S. Lewis Institute, Peter Kreeft quoted Voltaire saying that too many people had their minds on Heaven and Hell and not on France.  “I don’t know where Voltaire is now,” said Kreeft, “but, wherever he is, he’s not in France.”

Me with Peter Kreeft and Tom Howard

Liturgically, this weekend’s theme of course was resurrection in anticipation of the upcoming Easter.  Saturday, we also celebrated the Memorial of St. Vincent Ferrer, known for his preaching on the Last Things, for promoting the following:

Prayer of St. Vincent Ferrer to be Sinless at the Hour of Death

Lord Jesus Christ, who willest that no man should perish, and to whom supplication is never made without the hope of mercy, for Thou saidst with Thine own holy and blessed lips: “All things whatsoever ye shall ask in My name, shall be done unto you”; I ask of Thee, O Lord, for Thy holy name’s sake, to grant me at the hour of my death full consciousness and the power of speech, sincere contrition for my sins, true faith, firm hope and perfect charity, that I may be able to say unto Thee with a clean heart: Into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit: Thou hast redeemed me, O God of truth, who art blessed forever and ever. Amen. 

As we usually do, ironically, when I actually make it to Mass with my family, we went to the “last chance” college Mass, with a very kindly priest of the Holy Father’s generation who tends to overemphasize, as it were, “Niceness.”  He gives pleasant, uplifting homilies but never really challenges people.   He has a lot of good qualities, but I found his homily a bit lacking in the caution that should come with these themes.

“I am one of those who believe this life isn’t all there is.”
I should hope so.
He emphasized, “But if Christ is in you,
although the body is dead because of sin,
the spirit is alive because of righteousness.” (Rom 8:10).

He kind of left out the conditions “if” and “because of righteousness” and went with, “Christ is in all of us, so we’re all going to be together.”  He phrased it in that “ambiguous” manner that typifies his era, but he definitely promoted presumption.
I don’t know if it was posted because of St. Vincent, or the Sunday liturgy, or just an act of Divine Inspiration, but a blogger who goes by Tantamergo at “Dallas Area Catholics” posted a great piece on praying for a Happy Death, particularly praying for the opportunity to be conscious, as St. Vincent recommends above, so we can invoke Our Lady in our dying days, with various examples from Saints to that effect.
Thus, it was dismaying coming into Mass with those things in mind to hear Father say how most of his family were dead, and they’d all died of cancer, and he hoped to be fortunate enough to die in his sleep or suddenly!
No, the best we can hope for is not to die in our sleep; it is to die fully aware so that we’re not further punished for putting off our repentance.

Reports claim that Yellowstone is getting closer to eruption, and the animals are fleeing.   Others say that the supervolcano theory hasn’t been proven, that the animals are just engaging in normal migration, etc.  I say that, obviously, if they knew it was going to happen, they wouldn’t want to trigger mass chaos by saying that a mass extinction event is coming.  Either way, whether it’s Yellowstone, cancer, a heart attack, a gang playing the “knock out game,” or the proverbial bus, we must all heed Our Lord’s warning to store up treasure in Heaven, not on Earth.  Whether we die tomorrow or 90 years from now, we’ll still face the same personal judgement and the same two options for Eternity.  We worry so much about preparing for “retirement,” or how to survive various disasters, but do we worry about what will happen if we die a sudden and unprovided death?

Daily examination of conscience
Daily devotion to Our Lady and to Our Lord’s Passion
Self-sacrifice and almsgiving
Frequent recourse to the Sacraments
and, most of all
Praying daily that we and our loved ones will experience a “Happy Death,” with complete Confession, the Anointing, Viaticum, and the Apostolic Blessing (collectively, “Last Rites”).

These must be everyone’s priorities.

If there is no Biblical evidence for Saints, Limbo or Purgatory

Then why does Revelation 20:13 refer to “Death and Hades” as two separate entities?
And why does it speak of martyrs and those who never accepted the “Mark of the Beast” going straight to Heaven while the other dead have to wait?

Things I wonder about the Next Life

There are several questions I wonder about regarding the next Life:
1) Does the resurrection of the body occur immediately or at the end of the world? (Scripture and Aquinas indicate the end of the world, though Matthew refers to it happening immediately, and most people seem to talk that way).

2) Is there “socialization” in Heaven? Meaning, do the Saints in Heaven get to “hang out” with each other or just sing God’s praises eternally like the Seraphim, or is it a mixture of both?
3) Is the situation in “Heaven” different from what will happen in the New Earth at the end of time? So maybe, for example, the souls in Heaven, as pure spirits, function like angels, but there would be more interpersonal communication in the Resurrection?
4) If there are levels of glory in Heaven, does that mean segregation? And wouldn’t that be a kind of punishment? Like, does the guy who just slipped in with a “Lord have mercy” while dying have to stay at the “bottom” of Heaven and never meet any of the great saints?
I’d hope to be able to talk to all these people when I get to Heaven:


. . . And so on, and so forth, and what have you.
5) And I’ve always figured that in Heaven you get to see things like parts of the world you always wanted to visit, which is why international travel has never particularly interested me. Then I got to wondering about things like watching over people, and how deeply I wish I’d known Mary all my life, and how maybe I’ll get to go back and watch her life like a TV show in Heaven?
6) And that gets to TV shows, literature, etc.–would all that stuff have to be totally purged, or contrary to St. John of the Cross, do the saints in Heaven get to have imaginations? If so, does the imagination in Heaven have some level of “reality” to it?

Maybe like a Holodeck?

For example, when I was a little kid, I had this very vivid, realistic dream where I lived in an amazing mansion on the top of a mountain, and I had a pet lamb, and the house had all these different rooms. I had a really big bedroom, and next that bedroom were a series of toy rooms. I had one room that was all Masters of the Universe toys, set up in an amazing diorama. Another room was all GI Joes. Another room was all Transformers. “. . . And so on, and so forth, and what have you. ”
Something like this:

That dream always stuck with me, and over time, I figured it might have been a dream about Heaven. As an adult, if I had a lot of money to spend, I could make that dream come true thanks to the revival of those brands, as many of my peers have done. I’ve even been tempted to and done a bit of adult collecting, though I re-donated most of my collections and gave the rest to my kids, save for a few toys I’ve kept to myself. So I saw pictures recently for the upcoming Castle Greyskull in the Masters of the Universe Classics (MOTUC) line,
http://www.he-man.org/assets/images/home_news/tumblr_mchai1zuxa1qfxwtoo2_1280_full.jpghttp://

and I thought, “WOW! I *want* that!” And I resisted the temptations to covetousness, and I thought, “Well, if it’s at all something I’m supposed to have, maybe I’ll get it–or something better–in Heaven.”

As I contemplate my upcoming aortic surgery, and its risks, and the fact that I may very well be in my last days, I battle the “bucket list” issue: trying to enjoy what of this life I can in the fear that it will be completely lost, versus trying to achieve detachment so I can *get* to Heaven, versus wondering if some of the enjoyments we have in this life are still there, but better, in Heaven (so for example, maybe we can still watch TV shows we missed in Heaven?)

Facing Death . . . over, and over, and over (originally published 10/17/09)

I’m not talking about some science fiction story here.

Most adults have probably had some “brush with death” in their life by the time they reach their 30s, whether it’s a diagnosis–or possible diagnosis–of a life threatening illness, an accident, or whatever.  Even just contemplating the death of someone we know puts us in touch with our own mortality.

There are several approaches to the idea of impending death:

• “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die” — or anything to that effect
• Making sure your loved ones know you care
• Getting very spiritual very fast
• Despair
• Working hard to get something accomplished.

What few people have to deal with is the constant awareness that, not only are they mortal, but there’s a relatively high probability they could die today.  And don’t tell me, “You could be hit by a bus.”  I get sick of hearing that response (or words to that effect).

If a person says, “Oh, no!  What if I get hit by a bus?” all the tiem, that’s generally considered being paranoid and/or phobic.

It is not paranoid and/or phobic for a Marfan, especially a post-operative Marfan with a St. Jude valve, a daily dose of Warfarin (aka Rat Poison), a brain aneurysm, and a thoracic aortic aneurysm to think, “What if I die today?”  Especially when one hears of middle-aged Marfans whose aortas dissect simply from the strain of coughing.

Today, I learned of a 16 year old girl who died of Marfan syndrome on October 9.  Her name was Madison Beaudroux.  She told her sister, “I feel like I’m going to pass out.”  She did, and those were her last words.

Every day, there’s some point where I feel like I’m going to pass out, and I often think at those moments, “What if I’m dying?”

Sometimes, I just get in so much pain that I don’t quite “pass out” or fall asleep, but I just kind of hunch over and close my eyes and stay perfectly still.  I think, “What if I die like this?” or, more precisely, “If I had just died, would anyone have noticed?”

Every day, I consider each of those above options to some degree or another.  Usually one or another predominates the others, depending upon my mood, circumstances, etc. 

Every time I get up to do something mildly strenuous, I stop and think, “What if this is the strain that pushes me over the edge?  Will this be worth it?”

What of my duties to this family God has given me?  Is it better to push myself to the limits for them and die or to hold back and be there for them?   Would I not be of more use to them as a saint in Heaven than as a cripple here on earth?
What of my duties to this body God has given me?  Is it merely a mere “coil” to be “shuffled off”?  Is it essentially a burden to be relieved from or a treasure to be protected? How to walk that line?

What of the sins I commit in thought and deed and ommission because of the strain my constant pain and fatigue put on my conscience?  Are the pain and fatigue merely the devil pressuring me to sin?  Will God show me mercy if I can’t get to Confession in time to once again confess the same bad habits and mindsets I fall back into over and over?  What if I’m not detached enough?  What if I’m just excusing myself? 

Have mercy on us, and on the whole world.

Have a Heart: Blues Singer Robert Johnson

Robert Johnson, a legendary blues singer who died before his time, is another of the most credible “historical Marfan” diagnoses.

According to this site, he had long arms, legs and figures; hyperflexibility; lazy eye and “cataract”; and died a sudden death in a manner often described with aortic dissection. 

Another link

Wikipedia

Have a Heart: Flo Hyman

I met her sister.

Wikipedia bio

The Flo Hyman Award

Volleyball Hall of Fame

The Pope’s Resignation: is it the End of the World?

Who knows? It’s certainly a time to pray and fast for the good of the Church and the World.

Here’s what I don’t understand: Jesus specifically warned against the equivalent of “stocking up canned goods” in Luke 12, saying to store up treasure in Heaven. Paul, in 2 Thessalonians, is writing all about what *not* to do, and the oft-quoted “anyone who would not work should not eat” was referring to those who were doing the equivalent of “hiding out in a bunker” and waiting for the world to end. He who clings to his life will lose it; he who loses his life will find it forever.

In the Twilight Zone episode “The Shelter,” Larry Gates (later Guiding Light/s HB Lewis) plays Dr. Bill Stockton, a beloved family doctor who’s quite proud of the bomb shelter he’s built in his basement–with *just* enough room for him, his wife and his son, and stocked with just enough food (it is unclear whether he packed “just enough food” to last not only until *after* the fall-out of nuclear war but till after it was possible to *regrow* food). His friends and neighbors, gathered for his birthday, mock his paranoia–until reports come in that an actual nuclear war is on the verge of starting. Stockton hurries his family to the shelter, leaving the friends & neighbors behind. He locks them out. They come begging to be included. He says he doesn’t have any room–*maybe* one person if they insist. But he keeps screaming at them to leave and threatening to shoot them if they don’t. They fight among themselves viciously about who should be the one to survive with the Stockton family, and condemning each other’s real or perceived faults.

Then war *doesn’t* happen, and they’re all left with their relationships shattered by their selfishness.

When Jesus comes again, you’re not going to avoid that by hiding out in a bunker, and we have the assurance the world will not end until then. If it’s nuclear war, you’re not going to avoid that by hiding out in a bunker (interestingly, at Nagasaki, a Catholic Church was preserved from the destruction). If we’re going to experience a little turmoil that leads to the Era of Peace, then why fight it or fear it? If society collapses, stored goods will only last so long before you need more food, and refusing to share what you’ve stored with those in need will not win you points in Heaven.

And, if none of that stuff happens, and you wake up just as you did on December 22, 2012, or you come out of your bomb shelter like the Stocktons, and the world is still here, you look pretty silly. You might even, like the Stocktons, find yourself with shattered friendships.

And if you go to bed expecting the world doesn’t end, and your *life* ends, whether the world does or does not, you still make yourself liable to die and have the Lord say, “You fool! Did you not know that this very night your life would be demanded of you?! For I come like a thief in the night!”