I’m borrowing this metaphor a bit from the folks at Creative Minority Report, just making it a bit more direct to the case:
A man’s wife and children are put into protective custody pending an investigation of an abuse allegation (note, of course, that the law protects the claimant in such allegations). Technically, the accuser has the right to anonymity in such a case, but in this case, the abuser has contacted several authorities, and the man has learned who the person is.
The man files a lawsuit against his accuser. Then he announces to the world, “There is no way to prove my innocence of these allegations. My wife has treated me unfairly, and these allegations are false. I am therefore abandoning my wife and children. I will be seeking a divorce. I’ll still be a husband and father, but I just won’t live with them or do anything for them, because that would require fighting for my innocence and putting me in an adversarial relationship with them. Just don’t call me ‘Dad.’ I’ll still visit and write to my children, even though DSS says I’m not allowed to see them right now. ”
So, DSS issues a statement saying, “We’ve dropped the investigation since he moved out and filed for divorce a few weeks ago. His family have moved back into their home. Plus, he’s intimidated some of the witnesses, so we can’t investigate.”
The man replies, “Oh, by the way, I am not actually getting a divorce. It’s more like a separation. Again, I’ll still be a husband and father. I just won’t be living with my family, doing any household chores, or teaching my kids anything or romancing my wife or anything like that. That stuff was really a minor part of my life as a husband and father, anyway. Most of my time was spent earning money, and I’ll still be sending child support checks and coming over to take my kids out to the park and stuff like that. And don’t blame my wife. It’s not her fault. She’s still a good wife and mother. She just never lifted a finger to help me the entire time I was being investigated. She threw me under the buss. But she’s a good woman. It’s just that, when I got sick, I had to pay for it with my own health insurance and my own money. She never gave a dime to pay my bills. In fact, she’s never supported me in any way. She’s always mostly ignored me while I was travelling on business all the time or staying long nights at the office.”
The wife says, “I tried asking him all the time to spend more time at home with me and less time at the office, and he kept refusing.”
The guy says, “She just wanted my money.”
The guy says, “By the way, the person accused me of abuse anonymously, so I have no way to really defend myself because I can’t know who my accuser is. My accuser is my former next-door neighbor. I know for a fact this person is an alcoholic. But I can’t defend myself.” “Oh, you found out about the lawsuit I filed? Well, I did that on the advice of my father-in-law. Yep, it was the only way to defend myself against these accusations. ”
What would we say of such a person?