There followed a day of frantic and vain telephoning. By nightfall there was nothing left to do but wait and see if he turned up, alive or dead. I put the babies to sleep and waited. For the first time in my life I felt helpless; for the first time my pride was forced to admit that i was not, after all, “the master of my fate” and “the captain of my soul.” All my defenses — the walls of arrogance and cocksureness and self-love behind which I had hid from God — went down momentarily. And God came in.
— Davidman, Joy. _Out of my Bone: The Letters of Joy Davidman_. Don W. King, ed. Eerdmans, 2009. P. 128.