AARGH!! I feel so stupid!

Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my aortic root replacement.  First time I ever I totally forgot it.

(I forget something:

“Hey, I’ve got a brain aneurysm”

Mary: “You’re milking that brain aneurysm for all it’s worth, aren’t you?”

Me: “Absolutely.”)

Well, we spent a lot of money on a very small amount of ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery (Bruster’s just went up a bunch of points in my book, but our local chain Sandy’s still has the best deal on “fancy” ice cream).

I guess we’ll celebrate “ICU Day” today.

Me.  A person pushing a big cushy recliner on wheels in case I fall.  Someone puhing my IV cart.  Two people holding me up on either side.  One of those people being Mom.  Walking loops around the ICU.  Fun times.

“E i in ou o y ou”

“What’s he saying?”
Doctor “Remove the respirator, so he can talk.”

“But he can’t breathe.”
Doctor: “Let’s try.”

[respirator pulled out–very painfully]

“GET THIS THING OUT OF MY MOUTH!”

 

“If you don’t go to the bathroom, we’re going to have to put in a catheter.”

“Leave me alone to go by myself, and I will.”

“I don’t understand what he’s talking about.  He keeps saying he hates this country, something about privacy?”

“Oh, he’s saying he doesn’t understand why a woman can have an abortion but you won’t let him go to the bathroom by himself.”

“I’ve never seen someone on morphine quoting Aristotle.”

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